For survival
by Lysore
Summary: Being found out as a Divergent is dangerous. Tris ensures that when the time comes, she will be ready. Choosing ceremony!AU Dauntless [oneshot]


**Notes:**

 _The original works are not mine, never were, never will be. This is done purely for my own enjoyment, and yours too, should you happen to like what will follow. More specifically: some passages have been taken/paraphrased directly from the movie. Those passages are obviously even less mine._

 _On the other hand, since there is no beta, I can lay claim to all the mistakes present in the text !_

* * *

"The faction system is a living being composed of cells, all of you. The only way it can survive and thrive is for each of you to claim your rightful place. The future belongs to those who know where they belong."

Ever since I took my seat, I had been unable to stop myself from fidgeting. At least, I wasn't biting my fingernails. Yet. Contrarily to seemingly everyone in the room, I still didn't know where I belonged. I had failed the Aptitude Test. Or it hadn't worked on me. Whichever one it was, I was left with no answer. I had intended to trust the Test but I couldn't.

A stray thought crossed my mind and I froze in my seat, fidgeting forgotten: were the Tests recorded? The Test designers could make us believe an illusion was the reality. The liquid they gave us probably had something in it akin to Candor's Truth Serum that lowered our inhibitions so we had to act according to who we were deep down and couldn't cheat our way through the Test. That meant the Tests definitely could be recorded and watched, even years down the line.

"When we leave this room, you will no longer be dependents but full-fledged members of our society. Faction before blood."

If I was right, then Tori's idea to manually enter my result had been useless. Worse, it had probably made me stand out in the sea of results. What if the standard procedure was to check the recordings of all the Dependents who had a problematic Test?

The series of opening speeches came to an end and the litany of names began.

Now wasn't the time for panic, I needed to keep my wits about me and for that I had to calm down. With that goal in mind, I tried to focus as much as I could on the first choices: I watched attentively as Jonathan Ziegler, clad in Erudite blue, chose to remain in his Faction of birth.

Soon enough, I lost track of the comings and goings of my age mates and focused back on the problem at hand with a less frantic mind. The Test was supposed to be foolproof. Plus, if there had been a recording of my disastrous performance, why hadn't someone come to arrest me already? I was being paranoid. People probably hadn't noticed anything. The Test had to make a few people sick every odd year. People's bodies were strange like that and Tori wouldn't have been persuaded she had been helping me otherwise. I was a perfect stranger to her, she had no reason to protect me, no reason to put herself in any kind of danger for me. No, I had to believe her ruse had worked and I was still somewhat safe.

Dauntless-born Jeffrey Yates remained in Dauntless.

I discreetly cast a glance around the room. No one appeared to be paying me any attention. A wave of relief crashed through me as I began to truly believe I was free of suspicion. I sagged in my seat and my heart stopped trying to painfully beat its way out of my chest. That meant I was still allowed to choose my Faction like everyone else, though it hadn't solved the problem of which one.

Ideally, I would choose to transfer to Dauntless. I had been yearning for years to become as free as them: free to run, to fight, to take risks, to style my hair the way I wanted. But in the face of my Divergence, I didn't know if I could afford to pursue my dream.

James Tucker, Dauntless born, was the first Dependent to transfer. He decided to join Candor.

Moreover, transferring was a scary and lonely decision. I scoffed. Too loudly apparently since it earned me an elbow in the ribs from my brother. What could be more terrifying than discovering you were so abnormal you needed to be called 'Divergent'? My Test had certainly put things into a new perspective. Still, despite everything that was happening, I knew transferring would mean leaving my family behind and I didn't know if I was strong enough to do that. I could choose to remain in Abnegation instead. Not that I was persuaded I belonged there but I had never known anything but my Faction's way of life.

Morgan Stokes, Candor-born, went to Amity.

Very few people chose to transfer and a glance in his parents' direction confirmed me the sobs I could hear came from them. Deciding to transfer would mean taking an additional risk. Dauntless seemed to be everything I had ever wanted but I didn't know how things really worked there. Would I ever be able to adapt to the Dauntless way of life? Would my behaviour there oust me as an abnormality after a few days? I didn't know how true Dauntless were supposed to act and react.

Claire Satron, a pretty girl with hair as red as the Dauntless symbol, went back to Candor.

Caleb had advised me to think of myself first and our family second when making my choice. He had unknowingly been echoing Tori's affirmation I could trust no-one but myself today. I was an anomaly. That was dangerous because Abnormal people were not welcome in Chicago: we weren't excepted to stand out but encouraged to fit in, to be the right person in the right place so we could live in peace.

Those who didn't find their place had no future here. My Test result meant I was one of those who didn't have a place in my City. Were I to be discovered, not even the Dauntless would accept me, I knew that. Physical power was reserved for the true Dauntless because only they had the strength of character needed to wield this dangerous weapon wisely. I didn't deserve to be one of them but wouldn't I be a fool to let the opportunity to learn how to survive slide?

Sam Robertson stayed Abnegation.

I knew him, he made the right choice. Sam was like Caleb: an Abnegation to the bone. He would be happy with his life.

I could be safe if I chose Abnegation but not necessarily happy. I knew how my Faction worked so the probability I would be ousted as a Divergent was minimal. But deep down, I knew I would be miserable there. I could already see my future: I would become restless and bitter with time. One day, I would misstep. One thing would lead to another and I would get caught. Then what? Would I have only bought myself a few years before the inevitability of becoming Factionless caught up with me? Was that the Fate that awaited me? My stomach was twisting into itself and I wanted to throw up. If that was my future, then I wanted none of it.

I was startled out of my thoughts when hands gently caught a hold of mine to pry open my fists. A quick glance down revealed them to be my mothers'. I had been clenching my fists so tightly I had left deep crescent shaped marks on both of my palms. My mother smoothed a hand over my now open palms and inclined her head in my direction to whisper in my ear "I love you, no matter what."

The boundless love and calm acceptance I heard in her voice had me choke on a sob. If I stayed and was discovered, would there be repercussions for my family? Would they be punished because of me? They could be. I couldn't stay with them. My presence would only put them in danger. Before, I had believed I only needed to choose well or risk becoming Factionless, but the reality could be worse. I needed to become stronger, I had to learn how to protect myself. What if, when they found out, the authorities decided not to simply make me a Factionless but to throw me out of the city?

"Caleb Prior."

A jolt of panic went through me. It was already his turn! I turned to look at him. Caleb held my eyes for a few seconds and a light smile stretched his lips before he stood up to make his way toward the raised platform where the bowls awaited him. Marcus smiled at him in encouragement when he went past him. He hadn't done that before. Like me, he was certain he was going to welcome Caleb as an Abnegation Initiate in a few seconds.

"Erudite."

I froze abject shock in my seat for a second before whipping my head in my parents' direction. They both seemed aghast, my father more than my mother. I had never seen their faces wear such horror-struck masks before. My own features were probably stretched into a similarly pained expression. None of us had expected such a tragically surprising event. How could I ever leave Abnegation now?

How could I not?

"Quiet, please." Marcus called out when Erudite's applause showed no sign of abating. They were congratulating themselves on stealing my brother from us, the smug gits. I couldn't believe he had chosen to join their ranks, and with a smile, no less!

"Beatrice Prior."

As suddenly as it came, my anger at my brother's choice left me in a rush to make way to pure dread. This was it. My time. My choice.

I stood up slowly and walked past my parents. Both of them gave me a tense but affectionate squeeze at my elbow as I went past them and for a few steps, I could barely see anything because of the tears that were blurring my vision. I walked at a deliberately sluggish pace to delay the inevitable as much as I possibly could. I wasn't ready.

People often said 'when in doubt over something, flip a coin. If you feel the need to flip the coin again after it gave you an answer, then you know which solution you prefer.'

Abnegation or Dauntless. I had flipped a coin – or rather, Caleb had flipped my coin for me – and I was finding myself unsatisfied with the result. At least, this whole disaster had made one thing clear: I definitely didn't want to stay in Abnegation. Now that I had acknowledged this fact as a cold, hard truth to swallow, I had to face its implications. The thought wasn't as daunting as I thought it would be. I was long past the point where a little more fear meant an increase in nervousness. If anything, I was starting to feel numb.

I stepped on the platform without looking at Marcus. My eyes were trained on the bowls.

Being selfish the way I naturally was would certainly be a good thing in Dauntless. It would serve to enhance my survival instincts. I would have to be brave, there would be no other choice left to me.

A stray thought sent my mind reeling and I had to grasp the table in front of me for support. Abnegation and Amity were the only two Factions who didn't implement death penalty. Should I choose Dauntless as I intended to, I ran the risk of getting killed for my Divergence. Tori was a Dauntless. That had to be the reason she had manually entered Abnegation as my Test result and had been so insistent I keep quiet about my true result. Worse, what if the Dauntless decided my parents were at fault too because they had somehow raised me to become a Divergent? They would also be killed. Same for the friends I would have made in my new Faction. The room started to sway all around me and I grasped the table tighter so I didn't topple down on the stage.

When the room stood upright once again, I decided to chance a look over my shoulder in my parents' direction. My father looked terrified. It was an unknown look on him and guilt churned painfully in my stomach. My choice could break him.

I tore my eyes off my father's and let them glide to his right. My mother's attitude was the exact opposite of my father's. She had composed herself anew and was smiling. Her relaxed posture radiated calm and confidence, as though she was telling me without words she would approve of my future Faction, simply because she trusted me to make the right choice for myself.

I had never needed this encouragement more. It made me feel stronger, strong enough to finally stand on my own two feet and bear my unwanted burden to the bitter end. I turned back, straightened my spine, and took a hold of my knife. I could do this. I cut a small neat incision in my left palm, before holding my hand over the bowl on my far left as fast as I could before guilt or doubt or fear could catch up with me again.

I couldn't afford to hesitate. Death was a chance I was going to have to take. From now on, I would do my best every single day of my life and should I be discovered, it would be too late for them. I would have learnt how to defend myself. I would fight and I would escape. If needed, I would protect my family too.

With any luck, I was being paranoid and this would never come to pass.

"Dauntless."

Better prepared than dead.

* * *

 _Thoughts?_


End file.
